not used to being alone
by me-and-my-alteregos
Summary: Hikaru you've left me, in our world, all alone" his words struck me /yeah i went back to my old files here and i saw what a complete and total maybe not so much wreck this is so i fixed it . . . although its not that noticable
1. Chapter 1

Kenosu: Yeah so after a decade (well not really) I scrolled back to my old stories and I saw many grammar errors and such, I hated it so here I am and made a better one. I hope

Kishio: uhh yeah all you ever did was to modify some sentences

Kenosu: so?

Kishio: jeez forget I asked

Kai: yeah about that. Some of them were unnoticeable

Kenosu: I know

Kai and Kishio: -sweatdrop-

Not used to being alone

Kaoru's pov

"mou Hikaru stop bothering me" Haruhi whined, desperately trying to lose Hikaru, who was carrying another dress forcing her to wear it.

_**'He doesn't need me now, Haruhi doesn't realize how lucky she is.'**_

I just have to scoff at the thought. Now Hikaru is trying to get Haruhi's attention, while I . . . well I'm left here, Hikaru got out of our world leaving me behind. He just doesn't realize I'm not used to being alone, but I still have to try, right?

"guys I'm going out" I called out, they didn't even notice me. I smiled sadly. Sighing to myself I went out into the numerous gardens and sat under a Sakura tree. The blossoms are beautiful this spring, fragrant too. I chuckled, I like this feeling under the shade, feeling the breeze around me carrying with them thousands of petals, it was just like the times me and Hikaru- . . . I sighed tears forming in the corner of my eyes

_**'maybe I'm just a pain in Hikaru's life, maybe if I go he will be happier . . . without me'**_

"Kaoru!!! Kaoru!!!" I heard his frantic calls, I mentally laughed, when he notices I'm gone he still panics

"Hikaru I'm right here" I calmly said, I never show him my thoughts, not anymore. I quickly wiped my tears not leaving a trace.

"why did you run of without telling me? I was worried you know" he pouted, heh childish

"I did tell you, you were busy being with Haruhi to notice" I smiled but winced inside, it hurts to say her name . . . I guess I'm just jealous

"really? sorry 'bout that" he scratched the back of his head. I laughed he can be so naïve sometimes. I stood up, grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the classroom where I believe Haruhi was.

"you really shouldn't leave Haruhi alone"

"eeh?"

#######

Hikaru's p.o.v

"hurry Hikaru she might be gone" he practically dragged me to the class room

_**'Kaoru what's wrong with you? It seems like you're pushing me away'**_

"Kaoru she already left" I whined, a look came over his face. Was it disappointment? . . . relief? I couldn't tell, even if I am his twin I can't read him easily, he suddenly closed up on me, why?

"oh, I see, well should we leave as well?" he asked, picking up his bag and walked towards the door. He stopped halfway as he felt my gaze "hey are you coming?" he asked ignoring the stare

"yeah" my energy was draining, he's keeping something from me. We walked to our limousine he was behind me. Every time I looked at him he quickly changes his expression and smiles at me

_**'Kaoru please tell me, I know something's bothering you, why won't you tell me?'**_

"Hikaru is something wrong?" I laughed I could say the same thing to you

"no, not really" I just can't ask you now . . . later, maybe later. We stepped in the car, we sat in opposite ends, both lost in thoughts but then again maybe it was just me. I can't see him, my mind tells me to look but my body won't move. Somehow I can feel him glancing my way every now and then. My curiosity boiled inside me and I can't help but to ask.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Kaoru's p.o.v

"Kaoru . . . I uhh" he started, he seemed to be itching to ask about something.

"what's the problem Hikaru?" I asked, he looked at me his eyes were showing worry, anyone could tell that.

"what's wrong with you?" his question caught me off guard. I blinked several times

"what are you . . ." I trailed off not really knowing what to say

"you're ignoring me, it's like you're pushing me away . . . like shoving me towards Haruhi!" he almost yelled out I nearly choked

"uhh really now" I said he inched towards me, my heartbeat going faster. But what was I expecting?

"Kaoru please tell me, I can't stand it anymore, you're keeping things from me . . . that never happened before" he held me in place, he can probably sense that I would jump out any second. So I just smiled, pain etched into my features, not really physically, more like emotionally

"Hikaru I'm sorry, it just seems that you and Haruhi go along quite well and I might not fit in" I replied tears threatening to come out any moment

....0.0

Hikaru's p.o.v

"Hikaru you've left me, in our world, all alone" his words struck me, I couldn't even hide my tears. He held me, helped me sit right. He still smiles even if his eyes showed me his true emotions . . . sadness, pain . . . I never have seen those in his eyes. I hugged him, so quickly that I could tell that he was surprised, he hugged me back lightly. My tears are overflowing too much I felt that his uniform was now wet. But still I felt my brother's tears falling on me like rain, light rain.

"Kaoru I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to" I tried to finish but my nose wont let, me I was sniffling every word, but it's just that my emotions are so mixed up.

"shh Hikaru don't worry I wont go away, I promise" but it seems that he was wrong, no one can predict it, things like this just happen, so sudden I didn't even know that he was gone.

"KAORU!!!" it's the end. He didn't move. Blood was trickling down his back. He was gone I can't help it, the tears came back again really uncontrollable. The irony of it all he tells me that he wont leave me and right after that **this** happens!!!

"Kaoru-sama!!!" that was our driver he saw everything

"quick to the hospital!!! HURRY" I screamed. I can't lose him, not now.

_**'Kaoru please hang in there . . . please . . . please . . . PLEASE!!!'**_

!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!

Kaoru's p.o.v

Pain, quick intense pain, that's the last thing I remembered. But I feel strange, like I'm slowly slipping away, am I going to…? Probably, but before that happens I have to tell him my feelings… my thoughts…

"h-hika . . . hik-karu" I was panting every word feels like a ton added to my chest. I coughed painfully. I heard someone run to my side, I felt drops of water splashing in my face, he grabbed my hand. I opened my eyes, slowly so it could adjust to the light. I saw Hikaru beside me, he was crying. I smiled then winced, every move it hurts, enough to make my eyes water.

"Kaoru, please don't push yourself" he said his voice was calm but somehow I can feel the worry in his voice.

"Hikaru . . . I . . . cant . . . stay . . . any longer" I managed to say that all in once, my energy decreasing every second.

"Kaoru what are you talking about" he said he's voice growing every word

"I . . . just wanted . . . to tell . . . you that-" it hurts but I have to try

"Kaoru, Kaoru!" he is panicking I smiled and took a deep breath to say it all at once

"I never was used to being alone . . . but seeing that you are . . ." I managed to say that in one sentence and I took another breath to finish. "makes me happier than what I've been my whole life" I finished the monitor was going berserk I feel like I'm going to go I smiled, with tears in my eyes. I gripped his hand with the much strength I have left, and I felt like I'm fading away. "goodbye . . . Hikaru"

$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%

Hikaru's p.o.v

"KAORU!!!" he let go of my hand. No, no this can't end like this I called the doctor I was panicking more and more, He came I was asked to leave the room I did. I waited outside the panic inside me was enough to make me throw up. I can't take anymore of this. The last thing I remembered was landing on the floor then blacking out.

"Hikaru?" I opened my eyes I saw him

"KAORU!!!" I threw my arms around him. He hugged me back. I notice our surroundings are white "Kaoru you're alright!! Where are we" he shook his head

"Hikaru . . . I didn't make it . . . you're still alive right? So don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Okay?" I didn't understand him

"Kaoru what are you…?" he smiled once again like that time . . . I remembered that time we were . . . so Kaoru is . . . NO!!! I looked at him he was fading away "KAORU!!!" tears in my eyes I reached for him. Then I was engulfed in black, I feel cold . . . like the days we used to wake up in each others arms warm and safe in our own world but I broke that I left him all alone. I felt someone shaking me. "Kaoru?" I asked, I was hoping, I refused to open my eyes

"Hitachiin-sama we tried our best, we-we're so sorry" I closed my eyes tighter hoping that all of this will end, hoping that this was a nightmare. But it wasn't

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Few weeks have past I made up my mind Kaoru. I will follow you wherever you may go. Since the accident I stopped my schooling, I started drinking alcohol, smoking anything that might help me forget about the past, but it seems like nothing works, all it does was to remind me of you, so I'm up to my final solution. I will follow you Kaoru. I readied myself and did it. I closed my eyes and waited as my conscience faded away.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_**'Kaoru I will always be with you no matter what, we will never be apart'**_

_**They saw each other in this world, one was surprised, and one was relieved. They hugged each other, tears welling up on their eyes each happy to see the other, they smiled. They will never be apart forever.**_

Kenosu: yeah that was it I was thinking of doing a sequel but . . . I don't know

Kai: that's all right?

Kishio: I'm going to sleep

Kenosu: ey wait I'm coming with you

Kai: don't leave me here!!!


	2. the original file

Hi! I'm Kenosu! Just trying this out I think it angst but still I could be wrong right? Review if you're reading this, or even just this note I just gotta know ne?

**Warnings:** character death. I think that's it

Kenosu: I swear there is **no yaoi **may lightning strike me if there is, whoa help! -running around chased by lightning-

Kai: believe me there is no yaoi in this if there is well I should-

Kishio: ehem!

Kai: right

Kishio: the lightning just has some unfinished business with her

Kenosu: well I don't own Ouran I just own these annoying voices at the back of my head, whose names are Kai and Kishio.

Kai & Kishio: hey!

Kenosu: and our little pet named pawprint

Not used to being alone

Kaoru's pov

"mou Hikaru stop bothering me" Haruhi said desperately trying to lose Hikaru.

_**'He doesn't need me now, Haruhi doesn't realize how lucky she is.'**_

I just have to scoff at the thought. Now Hikaru is trying to get Haruhi's attention, while I… well I'm left here, Hikaru got out of our world leaving me behind. He just doesn't realize I'm not used to being alone, but I still have to try right.

"guys I'm going out" I said, they didn't even notice me. I smiled a sad, sad smile. And went out into the numerous gardens and sat under a tree. I like this feeling under this shade. Feeling the breeze around me. I sighed tears forming In the corner of my eyes

_**'maybe I'm just a pain in Hikaru's life, maybe if I go he will be happier…without me'**_

"Kaoru!!! Kaoru!!!" he called, I mentally laughed, still when he noticed I'm gone he panics

"Hikaru I'm right here" I calmly said, I never show him my thoughts. I quickly wiped my tears not leaving a trace.

"why did you run of without telling me, I was worried you know?" he replied

"I did tell you, you were busy being with Haruhi to notice" I smiled

"oh really sorry 'bout that" he scratched the back of his head. I laughed he can be naïve sometimes. I stood up grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the classroom where Haruhi is.

"you really shouldn't leave Haruhi alone"

"eeh?"

#######

Hikaru's p.o.v

"hurry Hikaru she might be gone" he practically dragged me to the class room

_**'Kaoru what's wrong with you? It seems like you're pushing me away'**_

"Kaoru she already left" I whined, then a look came over his face, was it disappointment?… relief?... sadness?... happiness? I couldn't tell, even if I am his twin I cant read him easily, he suddenly closed up on me why?

"oh I see well should we leave as well?" he asked. Picking up his bag and went towards the door "hey are you coming?"

"yeah" my energy was draining, he's keeping something from me. We walked to them limousine he was behind me, every time I looked at him he quickly changes his expression and smiles at me

_**'Kaoru please tell me, I know something's bothering you, why won't you tell me?'**_

"Hikaru is something wrong?" I laughed I could say the same thing to you

"no not really" I just can't ask you… later maybe later. We stepped in the car we sat in opposite ends both lost in thoughts but maybe just me. I can't see him, my mind tells me to look but my body won't move. Somehow I can feel him glancing my way every now and then. Now my curiosity boils inside and I can't help but to ask.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

Kaoru's p.o.v

"Kaoru I uhh" he started, he seemed to be itching to ask about something.

"what's the problem Hikaru?" I asked

"what's wrong with you?" he looked at me his eyes were showing worry, anyone could tell that. But his question caught me off guard. I froze

"what are you…"

"you're ignoring me, it's like you're pushing me away… like shoving me towards Haruhi"

"uhh really now" I said he inched towards me, my heartbeat going faster but what was I expecting

"Kaoru please tell me, I can't stand it anymore you're keeping things from me" he held me in place he probably sense that I was about to jump out any second. So I just smiled

"Hikaru I'm sorry it just seems that you and Haruhi go along quite well and I might not fit in" I replied tears threatening to come out any moment

....0.0

Hikaru's p.o.v

"Hikaru you've left me, in our world, all alone" his words struck me, I couldn't hide my tears. He held me helped me sit right. He still smiles even if his eyes showed me his true emotions… sadness, pain. I hugged him, so quickly that I could tell that he was surprised, he hugged me back lightly. My tears are overflowing, his uniform is now wet. But I feel my brother's tears falling on me like rain, light rain.

"Kaoru I'm sorry… I didn't mean to" I tried to finish but my nose wont let me I was sniffling every word but it's just that my emotions are mixed up.

"shh Hikaru don't worry I wont go away, I promise" but it seems that he was wrong, no one can predict, it things like this just happen, so sudden I didn't even know that he was gone.

"KAORU!!!" it's the end. He didn't move. Blood trickling down his back. He was gone I can't help it, the tears came back again really uncontrollable

"Kaoru-sama!!!" that was our driver he saw everything

"quick to the hospital!!! HURRY" I screamed. I can't lose him, not now.

_**'Kaoru please hang in there… please…please… PLEASE!!!'**_

!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!0!

Kaoru's p.o.v

Pain, quick intense pain, that's the last thing I remembered. But I feel strange, like I'm slowly slipping away, am I going to…? Probably, but before that happens I have to tell him my feelings… my thoughts…

"h-hika…hik-karu" I was panting every word feels like a ton added to my chest. I coughed painfully. I heard someone run to my side, something wet dropping in my face, he grabbed my hand. I opened my eyes, slowly so it could adjust to the light. I saw Hikaru beside me, he was crying. I smiled then winced, every move it hurts, enough to make my eyes water.

"Kaoru, please don't push yourself" he said his voice was calm but somehow I can feel the worry in his voice.

"Hikaru… I... cant… stay... any longer" I managed to say that all in once my energy decreasing every second.

"Kaoru what are you talking about" he said he's voice growing every word

"I …just wanted… to tell …you that" it hurts but I have to try

"Kaoru, Kaoru!" he is panicking I smiled and took a deep breath to say it all at once

"I never was used to being alone… but seeing that you are" I managed to say that in one sentence and I took another breath to finish. "makes me happier than what I've been my whole life" I finished the monitor was going berserk I feel like I'm going to go I smiled, with tears in my eyes. I gripped his hand with the much strength I have left, and I felt like I'm fading away. "goodbye… Hikaru"

$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%

Hikaru's p.o.v

"KAORU!!!" he let go of my hand. No, no this can't end like this I called the doctor I was panicking more and more. He came I was asked to leave the room I did. I waited outside the panic inside me was enough to make me throw up. I can't take anymore of this. The last thing I remembered was landing on the floor then blacking out.

"Hikaru?" I opened my eyes I saw him

"KAORU!!!" I threw my arms around him. He hugged me back. I notice our surroundings are white "Kaoru you're alright!! Where are we" he shook his head

"Hikaru… I didn't make it you're still alive right? So don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Okay?" I didn't understand him

"Kaoru what are you…?" he smiled once again like that time…I remembered that time we were… so Kaoru is… NO!!! I looked at him he was fading away "KAORU!!!" tears in my eyes I reached for him. Then I was engulfed in black, I feel cold… like the days we used to wake up in each others arms warm and safe in our own world but I broke that I left him all alone. I felt someone shaking me. "Kaoru?" I asked, I was hoping, I refused to open my eyes

"Hitachiin-sama we tried our best, we-we're so sorry" I closed my eyes tighter hoping that all of this will end, hoping that this was a nightmare. But it wasn't

Few weeks have past I made up my mind Kaoru. I will follow you wherever you may go. I stopped my schooling, I started drinking alcohol, smoking anything that might help me forget about the past, but it seems like nothing works and I'm up to my final solution. I will follow you Kaoru. I readied myself and did it. I closed my eyes and waited and blacked out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_**'Kaoru I will always be with you no matter what, we will never be apart'**_

_**They saw each other in this world, one was surprised, and one was relieved. They hugged each other, tears welling up on their eyes each happy to see the other, they smiled. They will never be apart forever.**_

Kenosu: yes I know its familiar of some sort

Kai: this is what she gets by drinking coffee and reading fanfiction at the same time

Kishio: Kai aren't you supposed to be in your own fanfiction

Kai: yeah yeah just dropping by, mah, see you later! -vanishes in a puff of smoke-

Kenosu: well gotta go too, ya know -grabs a pack of coffee flavored candy-

Kishio: somehow I feel bored

Kenosu: don't worry you'll have your turn

Kishio: hmm -nods-

Kenosu: ah yes to those who thought 'no yaoi huh!? Yeah right!' well -shrugs- whatever rides your current.

Kishio: -hugs pawprint- I'm sleepy now

Kenosu: uhh yeah okay, well it ends here

Kenosu & Kishio: sayonara!!

Kenosu: review if you have the time ^_^

Kishio: ZzZzZz

Kenosu: ^_^; gomene


End file.
